In the three years since I gave up this little blog, Pinterest has come on the scene and mommy bloggers have gone wild. I have been loathe to add my voice to the world out there, but sometimes I need to type out loud something a tad longer than a Facebook status--and my extroverted self wouldn't mind sharing it with whomever happens to see this.
SO. Today.
I have a wonderful, charming 21 month old boy. He is the love of my life. I count myself wildly lucky that I can stay home to be with him for all his little developments in life. It's what I wanted and I am honored to do it.
But I am profoundly lonely. I do not enjoy keeping house. Crafting and decorating and do it yourselfing overwhelm me so easily. I can't keep a schedule or develop menus. I am terrible at holding myself accountable to a diet or any kind of regimen. Unless there is someone else around me, I fall apart. Sometimes I wish I could just ask someone to come over and sit on my couch to talk to me while I clean my kitchen. But who asks for that? I am about 70% onboard with the polygamy concept. Somebody please give me a sister wife.
I clean, and play with my boy, and serve in church, and sing, and do lots and lots of other things. But I cannot shake the cloud that descends when I haven't spoken to anyone in a few hours. And scheduling the things that would help--dates with friends, etc. becomes another one of those insurmountable tasks. And then I eat something to feel better, and that just adds to the mess.
I am embarrassed to ask for what I need--people to come over and hang out. If anyone out there, especially extroverted ENFPs like me, feels the same way--know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.
Now to tackle those dishes...
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